The nasty truth about Habits is that the bad ones will ruin your life.
Ouch!
We are often unaware of how our behavior is harming both us and those around us.
You may be asking yourself these questions:
1. Is it possible to form a new habit? Yes!
2. Does it have to be difficult? No!
3. What will make it easy?
How can you develop a new habit?
Let’s say you want live with the energy and stamina to deal with everything that comes your way. How could you do that? Start by brainstorming. Here are a few ways I’ve come up to get more energy and stamina. Feel free to come up with your own.
1. Drink lots of caffeine
2. Get more rest
3. Enlist help from your friends / family to accomplish the tasks you face
4. Eat just the right foods that will help your body feel energetic
5. Say “no” to requests for giving time that you don’t have
6. Exercise
7. Find meaning to your daily routines
8. Be inspired by the things you do
See, that’s not so hard!
Let’s look at one that will make your life easier, #5, the dreaded “No”.
Put it into practice for 21 days –
Say No to Requests for Time I Don’t Have
Here’s how you do it. . .
Can you help me move my piano?
“No”
That one was too easy
Will you help clean toilets at the Youth Center?
“No”
Also, pretty easy. Make sure you don’t follow no up with a litany of excuses of why you can’t
Would you like to come to my Tupperware party?
Now, before you start to justify why you won’t come, simply try this . . .
“No, thank you.”
Hey mom, (it’s 9:00 pm) can you go to the store and get me the supplies I need for my project that’s due tomorrow morning?
Here is some pertinent information:
You know you “can” go to the store
You don’t want Jr. to “fail”
You’ve told your tweener multiple times to think ahead, and you know deep down they are capable of it
You don’t want to get into a fight about it
You don’t want to seem like a selfish parent
You know this would be a good lesson, but it seems easier to drive over to the 24-hour drug store
Try this. Look Jr. in the eye and tell them, “No”.
“No” is a complete sentence! You’ve just taken a baby step towards making your life easier by simply saying “no”. Even though you’re now dealing with a frustrated tween, next time this happens, you will know what to do. Go to bed and rest peacefully knowing you’re making your life easier by saying “no”. Jr. will either learn the lesson this time or try another shenanigan. If he does, it will be easier for you to say “no”.
BTW, Jr’s. life will also be easier when he thinks ahead.
See how this works? Life gets easier for both of you when you make the investment of saying “no”.
Follow up with another 42 says of reminders
You now need to remind yourself of your new habit for another 42 days. The next 6 weeks will reinforce it so the habit will pay off over a lifetime. You can do this by posting the habit on your mirror, keeping a journal of your successes, talking about it with a friend, or getting further help.
This can be done! It’s just a matter of repeating the habit until your brain realizes it is saving energy and reducing the risk in your life. As the habit develops, it will no longer be difficult.